I recently met a friend of mine who is a family lawyer for one of our monthly tea-cake-and-chat sessions. With Christmas approaching, she told me she was very busy with multiple divorce and child custody cases, which she claims to be the most emotionally draining ones. Parents shouting insults at each other in the courtroom, often in front of their children and a hundred strangers are a common sight in a courtroom. However, on March 1, 2010 this is supposed to end.
Last Thursday Ontario attorney general introduces new changes in family law that aim at keeping divorcing couples out of courts. $150 million are going to be allocated to providing more legal advice at the earliest stage of divorce. Divorcing couples will have to attend mandatory information session, during which they will be informed about other options they have of divorcing without going to court. They will be urged to use mediation, arbitration and collaborative law in order to settle issues such as division of common property and child custody. This will save time, money and will save the children ugly scenes.
It is obvious that this is a very positive step forward. Divorce is always difficult, emotionally and financially. Divorcing parents and their children have to break up their routines, their family ties, friendships, and social ties, everything that gives them a sense of security. A litigation process is the worst method of solving private family issues. This is a case where mediation can help. Trained mediators can help the parents resolve assets issues and agree who will have child custody and under what conditions. Arbitration can also help as the process is less formal and confidential, this way the topics discussed are not heard by the general public.
Collaborative law is the last option before going to court. If the two parties are not willing or able to communicate civilly, then their lawyers will try to settle the case outside of the court. People must understand that going to court is the last resort if nothing else works.
So, my lawyer friend advised me, next time you hear somebody is filing for a divorce, do me a favour and advice them to try mediation first. The general public does not realize that life is no soap opera. Divorce hearings are really a trial for all parties and very detrimental for the kids. So, if you have to get a divorce in Ontario, do it the civilized way.
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